Faerie DivaBat On The Loose

I'm not sure where I stand with the rest of the people on this program.

I've been hearing all sorts of contradictory things. On the one hand, people apparently like me for my initiative and energy and for being on top of things. On the other hand, people are apparently keeping their distance from me because I'm loud and I stink. Or something. To the point that when someone says they're my roommate, the answer is "I'm sorry".

People think I'm not sincere when I say I want to change. That I'm all talk just for attention. Thing is, I am sincere. But I don't know HOW I should change. It's probably something really simple but I'm not getting it.

I know I'm needy and an attention-seeker. But when I stop myself I end up being anti-social. I don't know where the balance is. I try to do my best and I mean well, but I keep messing up anyway. I can't even speak up when someone else makes me uncomfortable because that makes me a hypocrite. I'm a freakin' walking faux pas.

What am I doing wrong? What am I not getting? Why am I so stupid and disliked?

I wish I had someone in the program I could talk to about this, but they're either too busy or just don't want time for me. Sigh.