tiaramerchgirl: (Default)
For the past 5 to 10 minutes I've been practising the dance for Unspoken Words. It's really complicated; precise moves executed at the split second, loads of complex turns that I keep stumbling on, one move I swear I've forgotten. My feet (the right one especially) is aching and I'm frustrated that I can't seem to get this right.

As it is, I've also got the Expo Dance, and all the other random dances, to learn and perfect. I don't have the music for the rest of them, so it's a bit difficult, and I keep crashing into lamps whenever I practice those. But I'm trying.

Maybe I'm just moody because it's That Time Of The Month and my hormones have once again gone haywire. Or maybe I'm tired. But I just can't seem to get these dances right, and it's stressing me. It's the first time since I got here that I'm feeling stressed, and I'm a bit worried really.

There has to be a reason why I'm in the dance team to begin with. From what I gather, they look mainly at your interest and comfort level, followed by talent and experience. I enjoy dancing, I'm comfortable with dancing on stage or in public or wherever. Not shy. But this isn't just random dancing; this is serious, coordinated, steps-and-all dance. The last time I did that sort of dance was two years ago and that was for about four months. I'm not a pro. Everyone else is getting it but I'm stuck.

But yet - I've been slotted into the dance workshop. Sure, no guarantees that I'll actually be performing any of these, but it's a step closer. And there has to be a reason why I'm here and not in, say, something as blatantly obvious as public speaking. Do JC, Hiroko, Nina, and the rest want me to challenge myself? Do they really think I can actually do this? Do they think I have potential? Why am I here?

There has to be a reason for me doing this, besides "oh we couldn't figure out where to put you so let's slot you in randomly". Has to be. I can't give up, not now. I have to still keep on working. Even if I haven't the slightest clue why I'm doing this, or whether I really will be doing this on the Celebrations anyway.

Today we went around downtown Boulder - there was an Asian fair going on. Malaysia and Bangladesh weren't represented; oddly, Madagascar was. I found two metaphysical shops there - one mainly based on books and print material, another on herbs and tools and such. I bought a Bat's Head Root, which apparently make your wishes come true; I just got it because of the whole bat connection. And some faerie dust (glitter) as well. They gave me an engraved blessing candle for free, which was cool. I know the prices probably weren't worth it, but hey, it's something interesting at least. Especially in a shop with a parrot-relative named Romeo who thinks he's a lion.

I just hope the Bat Head's Root will grant my wishes of actually getting these dances right. Please let all this effort be worth it.

I went back to the WorldSmart YahooGroup and saw the photos people put up...it's interesting to revisit them after seeing the actual people in comparison. Especially the photo of the staff; before, it was just a set of random faces. Now it's actual people, with voices and ideas and dreams.

Speaking of the staff: they seem to be really physical at times. Pats on the back and shoulder, high fives, winks, "hello baby" (apparently something Tom tells everyone). I don't know if they're just being really friendly or if they're flirting with me. (It's amusing, at least)

I'll probably be off making some air bandung now; we found some rose syrup at the World Market (yet another place without representation from Malaysia or Bangladesh). It has lime in it, so it'll be a very interesting taste and experience.

At least something to sweeten my mind for now.

(Oh yeah and another thing: does anyone know where else I can promote this? I'd like to have some more people reading this, just to meet new folk and have someone to chat with about the whole thing. Thanks.)
tiaramerchgirl: (Default)
So we had our first actual dance workshop today. Two dances: the crazy hiphop dance, and a contemporary jazz abstractish dance for Unspoken Words. I'm getting there (I'm not stumbling as much) but there's till some kinks to be sorted out.

On Monday we'll learn who does what for the first Whisk next Saturday...hopefully it'll be good!

I bruised my hand this time - the webbing between my index finger and my thumb. Was drumming the wall too hard. Ow. Remedies, anyone?

Why was I drumming the wall? There was an open-mic thing today, and I was part of the WorldSmart Band that was developing this new song. We didn't have all the lyrics, so it was a lot of "dadadaaa da daaaaaaa" stuff, and I wanted to make myself useful so I became the percussionist. It's a bit interesting to use the walls as a drum...

People have really awesome talents here. I feel a bit like a fraud sometimes; everyone's so amazing, what do I have to offer? Why am I here? What right do I have to be here? But I got inspired too for future open mics - perhaps a Rabinrath Tagore poetry recital (Bengali, English, Malay?), or a reading of a passage of Velveteen Rabbit that is really touching, or some ulek mayang stuff. Let's see.

I wish I had the brains to initiate the dikir barat earlier. Might have had some willing subjects. Problem is, it's hard to explain the concept with nothing to show...

We had our first intern meetings today - ours was just tossing ideas, and sharing silly stories about people's reaction to WorldSmart. Diana's friends were worried that this was some sort of a prostitution ring and told her that if she didn't call in a week they were going to send Interpol after her...har...

I'm trying to get them to set up (or let me set up) a WorldSmart Blog. We already have the newsletter, but that's not immediate and isn't very interactive. The blog would be a lot more interactive for everyone, with instant postings and discussions and places to upload stuff. Some way to connect with us.

I should have conceived this as a Special Project, true. Damn my extremely delayed-reaction brain.

We're supposed to have dinner with a friend on Sunday but she's not well so we're on standby. Hopefully she gets better.

Nanu's coming on Monday yay!

If there's any WorldSmart crew reading this - hello! Do keep reading and do comment if you can. The facility's filters actualy block LiveJournal, so I can't show them this blog then and there, but I placed the address in my Me Page and maybe someone can jot it down and visit.

Gee, I'm extremely sleepy today. Slept at midnight, woke up naturally at 5:50. Not even dawn yet. And now the sun is setting. Perhaps I should rest.
tiaramerchgirl: (Default)
My photos are on Imagestation, but I haven't quite figured out how to make them public without other people needing to register. Anyone have ideas? I figure there's some sort of a toggle but I haven't figured that out yet.

I'm now an intern with External Relations! These are the PR and admissions side of WorldSmart. I may be getting a special project related to the WorldSmart website; I'll only know tomorrow.

A few days ago we had mini auditions to see our talent and comfort level with singing, public speaking, and dance, as well as a short discussion on photography. The dance we did was extremely complicated and I messed up a lot; I did OK on singing, and I did pretty well on singing. These auditions were to put us in groups for the Whisk performances - dance, vocals, MCing, sign language and pantomime, and something else which I don't remember now.

I thought I would be a shoo-in for MCing, since I talk a lot and keep volunteering to try out. I figured I could have a chance in sign language since I picked it up quite easily. Vocals were so-so. I had no confidence in my dance chances, since I messed up big time and was so supremely uncoordinated. I'd love to perform on stage, even dance; I just thought I won't have the chance.

Today we find out which workshop we're in. What do I get? Dance.

Clearly Nina had too much beer on her birthday. Or something like that (tm Reuben and some other folk).

I love you Nina and I still want to dance please don't kill me eep!

It isn't a guarantee that I will perform, only that we get concentrated training in it. I'd still love to perform; it's such an exhilirating thrill being on stage, such an absolute high. It would be a bit disappointing for me if that doesn't happen...but oh well...

Such is the peril of a self-confessed attention seeker, ha.

Speaking of Reuben - he's in the Singapore news! Lucky guy. He got media attention, and a 50% scholarship. I tried for both and got neither. Bah.

Still have plenty of work to do. I'm in the Bus Team for North America (yet another surprise) so I'll be entertaining everyone on the bus ride, kind of. And there's the other Me Page and Country Pages to do. And a Country Presentation for Malaysia's National Day. And a fashion show. And who knows what else.

I have gone mad indeed.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!
tiaramerchgirl: (Default)
Today was a bit of a tense day.

In the morning we had the Stereotypes activity, where mahjong papers with the names of the countries represented are put up, and people walk around writing their perceptions of the country.

Not many people wrote stuff about Malaysia and Bangladesh - both papers had some "talk fast and loud" comments, which I suspect has more to do with me than anything else. And no, Mahatma Ghandi is NOT Bangladeshi. I was surprised that people thought Malaysia had good governance, after hearing the complaints in the country about the government, and someone wrote "Kjak Rtak", whose meaning I haven't the slightest idea of. Huh. Generally, though, people weren't too surprised at the reaction - they've heard it all before.

What was tense was the discussion at the end of the day about the Capitol visit and guest speaker the day before. Katie had talked about the offensive language the guest speaker was using (e.g. referring to prostitutes as "recycled women") and Marcelle replied that basically we give meaning to words, we should try to understand what their intentions were and whether or not they meant to offend. Katie was upset (she thought she was being lectured - she kinda had a point) and Noelle and Brandi were crying too because Marcelle had mentioned how "nigger" was inoffensive in Brazil but "black" was, and that touched a nerve. It led to a discussion on ethnocentrism (basing things on your own culture) vs. ethnorelativism (basing things on the other culture), and how we should be more conscious of potential triggers.

I personally thought that while everyone had a point, there was still a level of ethnocentrism int he comments. "This is bad because it's bad in my culture therefore it should be bad in yours". It's a definite learning curve and I think all of us will have to learn how to relate to each other without needing to push their buttons. I wonder how they'd survive in a culture which would be offended at their notion of being offended - "You think our culture is WRONG? You think you're BETTER than me?!" - that'd be something.

Thankfully the day wasn't all that stressful. We had our first major Whisk Prep - we were taught the chorus of one of the songs, and also the moves to a few dances. One of them was really complicated - you really need to get the rhythm down right. The other was simpler, but it all depended on your partner and group and if they mess up, you mess up too. There was so much thigh-clapping that my thighs are now bruised...red spots everywhere.

I've handed in my Internship application, and tomorrow there's going to be auditions for singing, dancing, and public speaking (and photography though I'm not too interested in pursuing that fulltime). Let's see how that goes.

Also - I made fried rice for my host family today! It was a bit different; garlic paste, Bombay onions, brown basmati rice, baby carrots, no oyster sauce. I thought it was a bit off, but they loved it, so hey.

Does anyone have any remedies for bruises?

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